Olympic Torch extinguishes self inside Kremlin (because God has a sense of humor)

In a sign that God truly does have a sense of humor, the Olympic Torch today extinguished itself in the middle of the famous relay via which the flame, originating from Greece, is transported to the site of the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.

The Russian Olympics has been under intense criticism after senior Russian officials threatened to jail any openly-gay, or gay-friendly, Olympic athletes, media and spectators under the country’s draconian new anti-gay “propaganda” law.

It seems the iconic Olympic Flame finally took one for the team.

The flame had just arrived at the airport, where it was met by Russia’s deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Kozak, and a full military guard, then ceremoniously brought to the Kremlin where it was greeted by none other than  Russian President Vladimir Putin.

Then, things went south.

First off, we have the jolly Olympic torch bearer – oddly, wearing a big old gay rainbow jacket and gloves – entering the Kremlin:


Suddenly, he realizes something is wrong and he’ll soon be spending the rest of his life bunking with Vladimir Putin’s political enemies in a gulag:


Oh yeah, the face says it all: Gulag baby.


Torch-guy starts frantically signalling that the flame is out:


KGB-ish guy, and soon to be gulag bunkmate, grabs a lighter and tries to relight the flame, repeatedly, to no avail:


Finally, success!


And jolly relay guy is back on course, carrying a now-faux Olympic flame representing the faux Olympic spirit that has permeated the Sochi Olympics, and the modern Games.

At the welcoming ceremony for the flame, Putin said that the flame “will show Russia to the world as it really is.”

Yep, a big ole wannabe fraud.


And here’s the video:

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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26 Responses to “Olympic Torch extinguishes self inside Kremlin (because God has a sense of humor)”

  1. Kristy Thomas says:

    Well, I guess Russia really does hate everything flaming.

  2. toches says:

    No one understands anything written anymore, especially witty sarcasm.

  3. BillFromDover says:

    What’s the penalty for a breach of this magnitude by fucking up an eternal Olympic flame?

  4. Thom Allen says:

    The German Olympic Team has chosen very colorful uniforms. I’m sure that it’s just a coincidence.

  5. Thom Allen says:

    If it depicts a rainbow, or is rainbow-colored it’s OK as long as it has the “Sochi 2014” logo on it. If it brings cash into Russia, it’s fine. Now, if it were a tiny rainbow flag pin, worn unobtrusively THAT would be propaganda that would subvert Russian children’s normal development as haters.

  6. Thom Allen says:

    This is awe inspiring. And funny. If we wanted to stage this as part of a protest against Russian anti-LGBT laws, we couldn’t have done it better. Bumbling, goofy Russian with torch, rainbow colored track suit and gloves, flame going out, bemused look, relight torch, pretend everything is normal again. MasterCard should do this as one of their “Priceless” spots. “Official Sochi 2014 rainbow outfit – $1600. Custom-crafted Olympic torch – $23,000. Old Zippo lighter – proceless!”

  7. Zorba says:

    Oh, really? How about “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” Or “In as much as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Or “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.”
    Just how “Christ-like” are you?

  8. LanceThruster says:

    The torch lighting looks a little bit phallic to me. All that smiling and manipulation could get this festively adorned gentleman and his “friend” in quite a bit of trouble with the Russian authorities.

  9. One of the odder put-downs.

  10. Ninong says:

    I hope he removed his medals before he dove in to save those passengers in the sinking bus.

  11. TheAntiMartyr says:

    Some real Christ like comments here…

  12. karmanot says:

    Iz wery Kute, Boris, wery kute.

  13. Monoceros Forth says:

    Almost as many medals as a Battle of Grenada veteran!

  14. Ninong says:

    Maybe it was wearing all those “hero of the Soviet Union” medals that wore him down? Apparently he is a former multiple-times Olympic diving champion. Here’s what I mean by the medals wearing him down and the next picture is of him in his younger days.

  15. Randy says:

    Isn’t the torch carrier a little pudgy to be an “athlete”?

  16. Dave of the Jungle says:

    Thank you, God.

  17. TampaZeke says:

    If it weren’t so atrociously ugly, I would swear that that over-the-top rainbow outfit was subversive homosexual propaganda. I don’t know whether to cringe or cheer!

  18. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    Proof there is a divine being.

  19. FLL says:

    The folks back in Ancient Greece would have been laughing themselves silly. Whatever force is guiding the universe has definitely scored. Russian homophobes have been struck by the thunderbolt of Zeus, or perhaps the noodly appendage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. No country has the “right” to host international sporting events. A would-be host country has to make its case to the world that it is capable of respecting athletes from all countries and, therefore, fit to host international games. If the would-be host country can’t make that case, choose another candidate. The people in charge of the World Cup need to keep that in mind, or ignore it to their peril and discomfort.

  20. PeteWa says:

    Prometheus laughs at the Russians, so many thousands of years after he presented humanity with fire, and still they struggle to use his gift.

  21. dcinsider says:

    Now that is just fun.

  22. craigkg says:

    Yes, Zeus, the patron god of Olympia, obviously has a sense of humor…or at the very least irony.

  23. sane37 says:

    The best way to protest would be for teams not to show up unless they support theses draconian laws.

  24. Bill_Perdue says:

    The games in Sochi are going to be exhaustively monitored and watched by Putin’s FSB, aka, Son of KGB.

    “Russia to monitor ‘all communications’ at Winter Olympics in Sochi – Investigation uncovers FSB surveillance system – branded ‘Prism on steroids’ – to listen to all athletes and visitors”http://www.theguardian.com/wor…

    They news was revealed to the Guardian by Andrei Soldatov and Irina Borogan, connected to Radio Echo Moskvy and the Times of Russia and expert commentators on the FSB.

  25. discus_sucks_ass says:

    seriously, that jacket is FAB-ulous!

  26. emjayay says:

    Is every team wearing rainbow uniforms to this Olympics? What a dastardly clever way to subvert the protest value of anyone wearing those gay shoelaces.

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