Rick Santorum was right! Woman chooses horse as bridesmaid

A newly-married couple in England has nearly fulfilled Rick Santorum’s worst nightmare: They made the bride’s horse a bridesmaid in their recent wedding.

Alex Wells and Graham Sales got married in the English town of Nottinghamshire and felt they couldn’t leave Wells’ 17-year-old horse out of the bridal party, so Toffee became an official part of the wedding.

Bride and horse via Shutterstock

Bride and horse via Shutterstock

You might recall that former Republican Senator, and failed GOP presidential candidate, Rick Santorum once said they he objected to gay marriage because, you know, he objects to men having sex with dogs.

Here’s an excerpt from Santorum’s infamous interview with AP back in 2003 – do pay special attention to the reporter’s reponse:

AP: OK, without being too gory or graphic, so if somebody is homosexual, you would argue that they should not have sex?

Rick Santorum via Shutterstock (Christopher Halloran / Shutterstock.com)

Rick Santorum via Shutterstock (Christopher Halloran / Shutterstock.com)

SANTORUM: We have laws in states, like the one at the Supreme Court right now, that has sodomy laws and they were there for a purpose. Because, again, I would argue, they undermine the basic tenets of our society and the family. And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn’t exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution, this right that was created, it was created in Griswold — Griswold was the contraceptive case — and abortion. And now we’re just extending it out. And the further you extend it out, the more you — this freedom actually intervenes and affects the family. You say, well, it’s my individual freedom. Yes, but it destroys the basic unit of our society because it condones behavior that’s antithetical to strong healthy families. Whether it’s polygamy, whether it’s adultery, where it’s sodomy, all of those things, are antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family.

Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that’s what? Children. Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality —

AP: I’m sorry, I didn’t think I was going to talk about “man on dog” with a United States senator, it’s sort of freaking me out.

SANTORUM: And that’s sort of where we are in today’s world, unfortunately. The idea is that the state doesn’t have rights to limit individuals’ wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desire. And we’re seeing it in our society.

AP: Sorry, I just never expected to talk about that when I came over here to interview you.

It was this Santorum interview that inspired Dan Savage to rename “santorum” forever.

Of course, it is ironic, that the first step towards including animals in weddings was taken by a heterosexual couple.


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Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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26 Responses to “Rick Santorum was right! Woman chooses horse as bridesmaid”

  1. Chef Kowalski says:

    I’ll bet Alex Wells got the idea from P.G. Wodehouse. In one of his Jeeves stories, when rural horsewoman Honoria Glossip finally thought she had Bertie Wooster trapped into marrying her, she was planning using horses not only for bridesmaids but also the ring bearer. Fortunately for Bertie, Jeeves got him out of that pickle. What we need is a Jeeves to free us from Rick Santorum.

  2. lynchie says:

    More like a gelding

  3. lynchie says:

    Santorum is also not for any gun controls but wants to control marriage.

  4. Jake Orlando says:

    So, I’m reading through the transcript and I’m not finding where Rick Santorum had a problem with animal bridesmaids…

  5. The_Fixer says:

    Aside from the various man-on-whatever jokes, I think there’s a very serious issue here. Frothy says:

    …I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn’t exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution, this right that was created, it was created in Griswold — Griswold was the contraceptive case — and abortion. And now we’re just extending it out.

    And this is something that Antonin Scalia, and most extreme right winger”Strict Constitutionalists” believe. Never mind the wording of the Fourth Amendment:

    The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be
    violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

    The whole Constitution of the U.S. is geared toward privacy and the protection of individual rights. The dumb-dumb doesn’t realize that there’s a “Bill of Rights”?

    And this guy was a Senator? This guy is appallingly stupid.

  6. BillFromDover says:

    Or his church that promotes priests on children?

  7. BillFromDover says:

    What’s up with ultra religious conservatives and their attachment with goat-fucking, anyways?

  8. BillFromDover says:

    Ask the Bible???

  9. fletcher says:

    But after Toffee is saddled up he’ll get some woman on top action!

  10. fletcher says:

    Frothy Rick bids three spades…

  11. wayne says:

    Well, somewhere in Frothy Rick’s cranium, there must be a connection between a straight couple’s wedding with a horse as bridesmaid and gay marriage without a horse but darned if I can make the connection……

  12. Anonymous says:

    Santorum is implying that the only purpose of marriage is reproduction, which is flawed in itself. But even moreso, polygamy was once an acceptable form of marriage. Since gay marriage never existed but polygamy did, how is polygamy wrong, according to his own logic?

  13. Thom Allen says:

    You could be right. But he’s always so hung up on homosexual sex and what we do, it might be man on rooster or rooster on man. Though I often think of frothy as a capon.

  14. karmanot says:

    I suspect that frothy comes from a long line of man on chicken.

  15. heimaey says:

    Some woman married a bridge the other day. Is that OK with him? Dying to know.

  16. arcadesproject says:

    aw come on, she woulda had to actually marry the horse. Brides horse doesn’t count. (Personally, I think they are both cute. More power to them and much happiness!) Oh shit, I should’ve said, all three.

  17. cole3244 says:

    that’s pretty cool, loving a member of a different species is preferable to the hate the rw religious cons spread through out the world, love trumps hate every day in my world.

  18. Thom Allen says:

    frothy is a thoroughbred, too. A thoroughbred dolt.

  19. Thom Allen says:

    Just like frothy to be a sexist pig as well as a homophobe. It’s always MAN on dog with him. Never WOMAN on dog or dog on WOMAN. Or DOG on MAN. And he discriminates against other zoophiles. What about man on ostrich or woman on sheep? And he’s totally ignoring frotyaphilia, too. Has he never heard of man on guava? Woman on papaya? What about the botaneophiles? Man on bristlecone pine? Woman on jacaranda? frothy is SO 1950s.

  20. Monoceros Forth says:

    Damn, beat me to it. I’ll supply the obligatory link anyway. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yAxBPnNrsJM

  21. FuzzyRabbit says:

    Poor Toffee the horse. Often a bridesmaid, never a bride.

  22. bkmn says:

    Santorum is probably pissed because a 17 year old horse has a higher IQ than him.

  23. Jim Olson says:

    Satire, I get it. I’ve had dogs and cats and horses participate as members of wedding parties for all of my ministry. This is not new.

  24. BeccaM says:

    I’ll say this much, judging from the linked story, Toffee is a fine-looking Thoroghbred mare, especially for a 17 year old.

  25. bkmn says:

    I’m sure that Little Pricky will be sure to remind everyone about Senator Plagerist Pubehead when he makes another run to become the Kommandant of the US.

  26. Big deal! Caligula named a horse as senator in Rome, after he became a god like Ronald Reagan. Unlike the god Pruneface, Caligula is no longer worshiped as a god.

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