Bacon condoms (seriously)

Bacon condoms, yep.  An American company (God bless American innovation) has created the bacon condom.  It looks just like bacon, and if you use their bacon-flavored lubricant, it even tastes like bacon.

I’m not kidding.

The company, J&D’s, says that of the 5 billion condoms sold worldwide every year, none look or taste like bacon.  Until now.


Actual picture of the bacon condom unwrapped.

The company announces that the condoms are “proudly Made in America,” because you wouldn’t want some cheap foreign knock-off bacon condom.


The bacon condom wrapper.

As for the bacon-flavored lubricant, it’s apparently a lubricant and a massage oil.  I love a good massage, and I love bacon.  I’m not however convinced that I’d want to have bacon-scent rubbed all over me.

Interestingly, the company says that the idea did in fact originally start as an April Fool’s joke.  But they had so many people write in interest, that they decided to create the product for real.  Unlike Scope’s bacon-flavored mouthwash that was indeed an April Fool’s joke that apparently a lot of people didn’t get.

I’ll give them credit for taking something that can kill you and melding it with something that can save you.

Oh, and you vegans can put your minds at ease, the company notes that the bacon lubricant, and I suppose the bacon condom as well, are “vegan-safe.”  Well, that’s a relief.

And once you’re done enjoying your bacon condom, make sure you bacon floss (wish I were kidding, I’m really not):

bacon-floss And just in case all that bacon activity kills you, the bacon condom company also sells a bacon coffin for $2,999.99.


The description is, understandably, a bit odd:

Is there a better way to show your love of bacon forever than to be buried wrapped in it? We don’t think so.

This genuine bacon casket is made of 18 Gauge Gasketed Steel with Premium Bacon Exterior/Interior, and includes a Memorial and Record Tube, Adjustable Bed and Mattress and Stationary and Swingbar handles. It also includes a bacon air freshener for when you get that buried-underground, not-so-fresh feeling.

There are all sorts of unusual caskets out there – motorcycles, PBR cans, iPhones, tanks, Star Trek themes and more. We think that your final resting place deserves the eternal glory that is bacon.

No returns accepted.

No returns accepted because, you know, that would be gross.

Follow me on Twitter: @aravosis | @americablog | @americabloggay | Facebook | Instagram | Google+ | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

Share This Post

26 Responses to “Bacon condoms (seriously)”

  1. HoJo says:

    What woman, or man, would want a bacon encrusted wiener inside of them?

  2. Mmm Bacon!!! :) Great idea, or Gross??? “Oh, and you vegans can put your minds at ease, the company notes that the bacon lubricant, and I suppose the bacon condom as well, are “vegan-safe.” Well, that’s a relief.” If you feel the same please “Like” The Platzner Post on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter

  3. karmanot says:

    That looks like a model of a colon.

  4. eahopp says:

    I was thinking the same thing when I read the post.

  5. eahopp says:

    Just make sure you’re not wearing your bacon condom near your dog.

  6. If you wore it, would it be called a bacon dog?

  7. AdmNaismith says:

    If I want bacon, I’ll eat bacon.

  8. Clecinosu says:

    Everything is better with bacon?

    Eh, not so much.

  9. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    I’ve heard that particular clown is a birther.

  10. d3clark says:

    Next month, they’re introducing Canadian bacon as a cervical cap.

  11. d3clark says:

    Do they make a Turkey Bacon Condom for those trying to cut down on fat in the diet? Can’t say you’re “makin’ bacon” anymore if you’re waring one of these.

  12. hollywoodstein says:

    I’ve seen what bacon does to people who like too much bacon, eww.

  13. I’m not sure I’d want to confuse the dog, as it were ;-)

  14. zorbear says:

    It makes me shudder. I’ve seen what people who like bacon do to bacon…

  15. zorbear says:

    I laughed so hard I had to change my pants…

  16. JamesR says:

    AWESOME. So much more appropriate than banana or strawberry or the problematic chocolate…

    Not to jack the thread, but it might also be the ideal condom to use on your honeymoon with your dog.

  17. karmanot says:

    Especially one selling Big Macs.

  18. TuxedoCartman says:

    There needs to be a warning label on those bacon flavored condoms. “WARNING: known to cause bi-curiosity!”

  19. pigboy says:

    American innovation at its very finest and tastiest …………………. It makes me proud to think we are leading the world again in something…………. I know years from now the Russians will be claiming they were the ones to first invent this………….. but we will know better. Yes we will! ………… I need a flag to salute :)

  20. Kelvin Mace says:

    Why am I skeptical?

    The condom is “out of stock”. Someone call me when they actually get their hands on the product.

  21. Mike_in_the_Tundra says:

    The only worse thing I can think of is a condom with a picture of a clown.

  22. Naja pallida says:

    Just don’t wear them around the dog.

  23. Personally, I think it unfortunately tastes more like SPAM.

  24. And I have to admit the picture grossed me out too.

  25. BeccaM says:

    Sorry, but this one earns an enthusiastic “Ewww!” from me. ;-)

© 2020 AMERICAblog Media, LLC. All rights reserved. · Entries RSS