Colbert Report schools US Olympic men’s speekstaters in being hetero for Sochi

A pretty funny segment from the Colbert Report on training the US men’s Olympic speedskating team to be as hetero as possible for when they compete in Sochi, Russia – since Russia is notoriously anti-gay.


Buddy Cole was pretty funny this time.

The part with Kyle Carr about 3:00 into the video is priceless.

Buddy Cole: Is speedskating a choice, or were you born a speedskater?

Speedskater Kyle Carr: I think you’re born a speedskater.

Buddy Cole:  So you were born a speedskater? Yes. What’s your name?

Kyle Carr: Kyle Carr.

Buddy Cole: [repeats his name with the same butch accent Carr has] Kyle Carr.

Kyle Carr: I’m a short track, um, I do short track…

Buddy Cole: What, you’re a short tracker? Don’t worry about it Kyle, it’s a little cold in here.  We’re all a little short-tracked.

(I’m told that in order to better see my Facebook posts in your feed, you need to “follow” me.)

CyberDisobedience on Substack | @aravosis | Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn. John Aravosis is the Executive Editor of AMERICAblog, which he founded in 2004. He has a joint law degree (JD) and masters in Foreign Service from Georgetown; and has worked in the US Senate, World Bank, Children's Defense Fund, the United Nations Development Programme, and as a stringer for the Economist. He is a frequent TV pundit, having appeared on the O'Reilly Factor, Hardball, World News Tonight, Nightline, AM Joy & Reliable Sources, among others. John lives in Washington, DC. .

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9 Responses to “Colbert Report schools US Olympic men’s speekstaters in being hetero for Sochi”

  1. StevesWeb says:

    This brought tears to my eyes, so good! It’s nice to see our old Canadian hero Scott still has got his talent.

  2. He was only pretending he couldn’t skate. Scott is Canadian and has been ice skating since he was 5.

  3. UncleBucky says:

    Sashay Olympics. Oughta be a round the world meme. 3, 2, 1…. (pow!)

  4. vonlmo says:

    Bitch is wearing my purple velvet jacket.Oh, excuse me. It’s “plum”.

  5. Hue-Man says:

    This is the first time I’ve heard them referred to as the Sashay Olympics.

    Putting Buddy on figure skates was cruel; the one time I tried them, I did a face-plant on the ice. After awhile they’re fun for turns but you’re always watching out for the pick.

    Love the Nordic backgrounds of the team – Florida, Texas, even Federal Way, WA, isn’t particularly cold.

  6. BeccaM says:

    Loved the Crocs as “gay kryptonite”

  7. Jay says:

    oh they are cute! and, hot in those tights.

  8. cole3244 says:

    this was laugh out loud funny!

  9. karmanot says:

    It was hilarious.

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